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Sad Musings from a Bored Man

poetry sorry

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#1 CONKERSBADFURDAY

CONKERSBADFURDAY

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Posted 12 March 2015 - 03:02 PM

Well, I have a dedicated thread for my writing improvisations, but that isn't the only kind of poetry I bother with. I don't want to put my more traditional poetry in with that thread though, since...well, no good reason other than it breaks consistency. However, my poems themselves don't deserve separate threads for each since most aren't very long, and I'd rather not completely overtake the art/fiction board.

 

So, here they'll be.

 

See, I look at traditional poetry like thought puzzles.It's all about making a lot of ideas fit into a very small space while also adhering to things like rhyme scheme or meter or stanza length. That's hard, sometimes frustrating, but fun when executed properly. I don't aim to be a good poet, but I use the art form to pass time when I'm bored at work or on a long car ride.

 

So yes, that's what this all is. Brain vomits from times when I'm bored and maybe just a bit too angry at the world for anyone's own good. I can't help the fact that I'm an angry little man, but I do hope I don't come off as an angsty teenager. That would be unfortunate for all involved.

 

Now, let's start this and be done. I'll post a few poems here right away and update accordingly. I'll even talk about them a bit because why not. This first one is one I finished today, and the one that prompted me to start this thread.

 

 

An Aging Imagination

 

All my friends are in my head

And I've known them for far so long

Adventures far and wide we've been

Oh budding trees of springtime

 

Years go by and I grow up

But still we find the chance to play

Distractions take up too much time

Oh changing breeze of summer

 

Now I stare at cares to great

So I go where I left old friends

Confusion because no one's there

Oh falling leaves of autumn

 

Gloom is all that crawls in me

And now my calls are for the void

Seclusion is the final fall

Oh bitter freeze of winter

 

 

So this one started from the first stanza, which wrote itself. I wasn't trying to write poetry but mostly reflecting on growing up and the different ways my mind uses to occupy itself now that I'm an adult vs being a kid. That lead down a rather dark road as such thoughts are wont to do, but I liked the opening four lines too much to just throw them away. The tough part was working out another three stanzas.

 

Remember how I talked about thought puzzles? This poem is very much one of those. The rhyme scheme is strange. The third and fifth word of the top line rhyme, the fourth word of the second lines rhyme, and the last word of the third lines rhyme. I tried my best to keep the whole thing in meter, and other than one line that bothers me more than it should, I believe I succeeded. I also tried to keep this poem less poetic than my norm. The word choice isn't as out there as I've been apt to do. That too, was difficult. I like abusing poetic license.

 

Life is Fleeting

 

Gestating in an eternally ethereal sky
Anticipating glory opportunity to die
An eager marathon affinity surround
Little infinities smile us into the ground

 

So, I won't beat around my own narcissism: I really, really like this little poem. I managed to fit everything I wanted to fit into four little lines, all the while keeping a meter and a rhyme scheme going. I can't remember how many times I rewrote this, but as a whole, it took me at least an hour to write, perhaps a bit more. That's an obnoxious amount of time for something this small.

 

It's a personified description of the rain, by the way.

 

Bloody Narcissim

 

If the artist must suffer to make,
pain and loss and hate,
then I will suffer the most.
Blood and blood and bone.

 

I put my pinkie in a pencil sharpener
and twist it, twist, it twist, it twist it.
I am the holy Messiah flesh carpenter
so twisted, twisted, twisted, twisted.

 

I begin.

 

A new kind of passion pours out of my flesh
as I conquer the world.
I conquer the world.
I conquer the world.

 

A new kind of struggle as you fight to be,
but you’ll never escape.
You’ll never escape.
You’ll never escape.

 

I turn to what society calls perfection
and wilt it, wilt it, wilt it, wilt it.
My sacrifice brings a better resurrection.
Not wilted, wilted, wilted, wilted.

 

The muses are now mine;
My prison they’re confined.
They worship me sublime
because I am divine.
The wonders all align,
and watch me transcend time.
That chill upon your spine
is made by my design.

 

Now you know me.
Now you see me.
I am the one who showed you life!
I hear you screaming.
I see you fleeing,
because my truth cuts like a knife.

 

Bow before me.
Kneel before me.
I have done what others could not.
You will respect me.
You will respect me.
I have made myself a God!

 

You will respect me.
You will notice me!
You will apologize,
and say you’re sorry.
So respect me.
Respect me!
Please respect me.
Please just know me.
Please just . . . please.

 

I have a lot of thoughts on how this one turned out, and most of them are negative. The idea started off with the second stanza, a quick little thing I came up with and wrote down. I forgot about it for a few months, and when I came back, I didn't quite know what to do. The character is supposed to be a megalomaniac and a narcissist, and he is, but he also became this down-on-his-luck artist stuck on his last gimmick. He self harms and makes, and maybe that'll get him respect.

 

The poem is disjointed because the character is, but it's maybe too disjointed. I tried to come up with rhyme schemes only to quickly abandon them, and hey, I succeeded! But I also wrote something that's just really unpleasant to read and hard to pay attention to. I either succeeded too well or actually failed miserably.

 

I look at this poem now and think it could make a somewhat fun metal song. Keep the words kept far apart with very strange, erratic music between them. Screech most of the words while simply speak others. There's a place for this somewhere, but as of now, I'm not sure what that is. I mean, besides here, obviously.

 

 

 

 



#2 CONKERSBADFURDAY

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Posted 25 March 2015 - 07:36 PM

Haunted in Your Head

 

I make you scream

I force your dreams

I’m everything you hate about you

Succumb to fright

This endless night

I’m forever right behind you

 

I am the haunted in your head

Haunted in your head

I am the thing beneath your bed

Fill you full of dread

And when you wish that you were dead

Know

That I will never leave you

 

I am the creak

I make you weak

I’m everything you hate about you

The door will slam

Now always damned

I’m forever right behind you

 

I am the haunted in your head

Haunted in your head

I am the thing beneath your bed

Fill you full of dread

And when you wish that you were dead

Know

That I will never leave you

 

I am the hangman’s noose

I am the pistol’s boom

I am the poison’s use

I am the razor’s bloom

 

I am the haunted in your head

Haunted in your head

I am the thing beneath your bed

Fill you full of dread

And when you wish that you were dead

Know

That I will never leave you

 

One of the things I've wanted to do for a god damn long time now is write, record, sing, scream, and all around make a heavy metal album. So far I lack the two most important parts of that endevour: talent and time.Awhile back, around Halloween, a song contest came up to do something with horror, and I quickly wrote the above song then never did anything with it. I like the idea of a diseased mind being compared to a haunted house, though the second verse still needs some work. Perhaps one day. I actually have five other songs written out, their vocal melodies all mapped and planned. I really hope to one day make that a thing. It's on the bucket list. I like the above song as a poem though, so here it goes. Maybe I'll post the others at some point.



#3 CONKERSBADFURDAY

CONKERSBADFURDAY

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Posted 16 April 2015 - 01:46 PM

Ecorobotnics

 

I am construct–No
I am machine–No
I am robot–No

 

Would that I could be so useful, so wanted, loved, needed youthful
so crucial for a world to to turn.

 

No. I am a cog, a nothing part, repeating slog
stuck in place and forced to churn until I break from wear and tear, worn and shorn of teeth I am replaced:

 

Thrown away.
Tossed aside.
Stomped beneath the bottom line.
Out of sight and out of mind.
Watch me live.
Watch me die.

 

Yet still I dream of brighter days, of freedom found, of break away
of watching as your constructs stumble
of laughing as your machines crumble
of flying as your robots ruin.

 

Because fuck your system.
I am human.

 

Uh, not sure what to say about this one. It's basically inspired by Three Days Grace's "I am Machine" and the general loathing of the jobs I've had recently. Though that outlook is easily branched off into just society in general, hense the poem itself. I do like the freeform of this one though. I took the basic ideas behind some of the writing irmpvos I do and combined them with regular stanzas. There's no real structure, but there's enough rhyming and meter for me to not care.



#4 CONKERSBADFURDAY

CONKERSBADFURDAY

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Posted 26 June 2015 - 01:37 PM

I have No Thoughts and I Must Be

 

Society

It stole from me

The whips they crack

So painfully

I’m forced to live

I’m forced to die

And have no thoughts

That are mine

 

Because all I hear are lies

A.M-pologize

For eating at my mind

And all I am inside

 

All I’ve made are

Mistakes

All I feel is

Blind hate

All I want is

Go away

Oh please just let me be

All That’s left is

To Fade

All I feel is

I’m fake

All I want is

Go away

You never let me be

 

Society

It tortures me

I try to hide

So futily

I cannot live

I cannot die

And have no voice

To scream at night

 

Because all I hear are lies

A.M-pologize

For eating at my mind

And all I am inside

 

All I’ve made are

Mistakes

All I feel is

Blind hate

All I want is

Go away

Oh please just let me be

All That’s left is

To fade

All I feel is

I’m fake

All I want is

Go away

You never let me be

 

Why

Nothing left is killing me

Why

Chained to you I am not free

Why

Nothing left is killing me

Why

I have no thoughts and I must be

 

I have no thoughts and I must be

I have no thoughts and I must be

I have no thoughts and I must be

 

I made it clear already that I really, really want to get into the music making scene at some point, but until I do, these "songs" are stuck as poems. I've nothing against that, though they'd work much better when put to some heavy riffs. Without music, they come off as a little 2edgy4me, I think. I dunno. I just kinda grab a random line or two and see what happens.

 

For the above, it's inspired by two things. The first is a short story called "I have no mouth and I must Scream" which I'm sure most of you have heard of in some regard. It's popular. The second is the philosophical idea of "I think; therefore, I am." Combine that with some general rage and here we go. A.M. is the antagonist in the short story, a robot thing that destroyed the world. So yeah.


Edited by CONKERSBADFURDAY, 29 August 2015 - 01:11 PM.


#5 CONKERSBADFURDAY

CONKERSBADFURDAY

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Posted 29 August 2015 - 01:25 PM

Conversations with Death

 

I once stopped for Death and told him he was myth

He smiled at me

Civility

And asked me to come with

He took me far he took me wide

The sun died in the sky

And now I stand with frozen fear

In a grave my body lies

 

Prostrate I quake

I’m not meant to be here

Fuck fate mistake

I’m not meant to be here

 

Silent grave regretful life

It’s cold in here please change your mind

All happiness has gone and died

Please take from me please take my mind

 

Death once stopped for me and told me I was wrong

He frowned at me

Mortality

His dour journey long

My labor died my leisure too

And now I am afraid

A thousand years have passed me by

But it’s only been a day

 

Prostrate I quake

I’m not meant to be here

Fuck fate mistake

I’m not meant to be here

 

Silent grave regretful life

It’s cold in here please change your mind

All happiness has gone and died

Please take from me please take my mind

 

My head is towards Eternity

My head is towards Eternity

My head is towards Eternity

My head is towards Eternity

 

Silent grave regretful life

It’s cold in here please change your mind

All happiness has gone and died

Please take from me please take my mind

 

Silent grave forgotten life

I freeze in here come back to mine

Insanity in here can thrive

Please stop me now please stop my mind

 

I haven't updated this thread in awhile, so here's another metal song I wrote about a year or more ago now. I think of all the ones I've so far made, this is my favorite. Or at least, it's up there. The idea behind it stems from a rather macabre fear that after death, your consciousness still stays with you, trapped wherever your body is. If you're in a grave, then that's all you have for eternity. The imagery in this is all pulled from the Emily Dickinson poem, "Because I could not Stop For Death" which is one of my favorite pieces of poetry. Strangely, or perhaps not, most of the songs I've written have some involvement with my favorite literature, and the ones that don't are the weakest. I might post them too, at some point, but they really come off as angsty without music.

 

A Poet's Dreams

 

I dreamed a flower made of honey

So still and empty in mourning dew

It stank of change and death’s new coming

Trapped forever in Nevermore’s Tomb

 

I dreamed a nimbus made of monsters

Holy screaming rains its torment drown

It floats away and stills the sunset

And religion sobs a happy sound

 

I dreamed a city made of mountain

Its fire breaks the landscape in the sky

A crushing sound of spirits fighting

The manticore cries with three red eyes

 

I dreamed of fallen knights in battle

But I will not speak of Nightmare’s Den

Come home to me my friends of fortune

For it all mean nothing in the end

 

So the context behind this poem is that it appears in my novel, towards the end. A lot of fantasy novels like to play around with prophecy, and they almost always get it wrong. I hate it, and so this was my stab at making fun of the whole thing in general. Given the story and imagery in this poem, it reads like it should have appeared early on, within the first few chapters. These are all the things that will happen, and hell, some of them even do. The last stanza talks about character deaths. However, I tossed it right at the end, just before the climactic fight, and all of my characters decide "it all means nothing in the end," is literal. The poem is just a poem, written for Taz by his friend who was scared that he'd get hurt on this wild adventure. Poets cannot dream the future. So take that prophecy in fantasy, you bad cliche writing you.



#6 CONKERSBADFURDAY

CONKERSBADFURDAY

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Posted 07 October 2015 - 07:01 PM

Little Marry

 

Little Marry—cutest fairy—

Yawn, it’s time for bed.

Brush your teeth and say your prayers,

You perfect sleepy head.

 

Heed your mommy—on your tummy—

Place your hand she said.

Snuggle tight and say goodnight,

So off to dreams you’re lead.

 

Silly verses—wicked curses—

All your fears have fled.

Move your hand and watch the brand,

And startle as it spreads.

 

Little Marry—rebel fairy—

Fill the night with dread.

Stomach gills and organs spill,

You, stupid girl, are dead.

 

So the quick story behind this one is that I almost always sleep with my hand on my stomach. I have no idea why. Well, late at night I started thinking about that, and that lead to, "What if my organs fell out if I didn't sleep like that!?" which lead to this poem.

 

Goal was to do something like a skip-rope rhyme, for no other reason that I haven't ever written anything like that.



#7 CONKERSBADFURDAY

CONKERSBADFURDAY

    has no sense of humor

  • Chozo Chancellor
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Posted 09 June 2017 - 04:27 PM

The Hollow Girl

 

The hollow girl

She swallowed a fly

It buzzed and buzzed

And tickled her eyes

 

The hollow girl

She swallowed a spider

It spun a web

Goss’mer inside her

Caught the fly

Drained the fly

Found her heart

And began to bite her

 

The hollow girl

She swallowed a rat

Drooled its rabies

Twitching and scratch

Caught the spider

Ate the spider

Found her lungs

And began to attack

 

The hollow girl

She swallowed a snake

A hissing venom

Rattling quake

Bit the rat

Ate the rat

Found her stomach

And began to serrate

 

The hollow girl

She swallowed an owl

The fiercest bird

Tallons that prowl

Ripped the snake

Tore the snake

Found her brain

And began to afoul

 

The hollow girl

Fed up and torn

Swallowed a human

A screaming worm

Humans die

Girls they smile

For the hollow girl

Was no longer hollow

 

I wrote this at work today over the span of maybe half an hour while I was letting some stuff export from Adobe Premiere. I was listening to a podcast, and someone mentioned this old folk song about an old lady eating a fly, then a spider, then a rat, etc. Each ate the previous item. It was a funny song though, a kind of nursery rhyme, and I wanted to do something else. I did something else. I won't sit here and tell you it's amazing, but it was a fun way to pass the time on a Friday.







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