If you read my previous notes, you know my time with Breath of the Wild was filled with either great peril often brought upon by stuipidity or an untimely demise brought upon by... well, stuipidty. With such long lists cataloging my ignorance, I would not fault you for thinking that all I did was blow myself up, careen down rocky mountians, and drown in bogs. So it may come as a surpise that not every moment was an exercise in abject failure. Yes, there were moments of greatness-- albeit quite rare. Don't believe me? Then why don't you look at the list below and see for yourself:
⦁ For once I succeeded in accomplishing something I wanted to do, and an unexpected flourish to top it all off. I saw a pair of blue bokoblins in a patch of grass down the road, so I went retraced my steps to retrieve an explosive barrel. I headed back in the direction of the bokoblins, and as I crept ever so closer I noticed a small cliff to the right of the aforementioned road. A rare moment of common sense came over me: maybe I should scout ahead and see where I should attack. As opposed to alerting them of my presense with a large, red explosive target over my shoulder. So, I place the barrel down next to the cliff and moved onward. As with most my attempts at stealth I was spotted immediately. In a panic I ran back towards the red barrel with one of the bokoblins giving chase. I hoisted the barrel over my, locked on to my pursuer, and hurled it right into its face. In a panic I rapidly pressed the jump button (you know, the B button) to backflip away from the explosion. Luckily some of the grass caught on fire creating a backdraft causing one my frantic mashing of the jump button presses to activate the paraglider sending me high in the air and away from the fiery depths that engulfed my adversary. Pretty cool. Now what to do about the other bokoblin?
⦁ It’s this isn’t something cool I did but it was funny nonetheless. I was in an enemy stronghold within the Bottomless Swamp when I heard a bokoblin, but I didn’t know where it was located. Suddenly I heard an arrow hit the ground next to me. I looked up to the right and saw the would-be-archer. Then I looked down and saw that the arrow it fired was a bomb arrow. Thankfully, it was raining at the time so the arrow’s fuse was extinguished, otherwise I would be stinking into the abyss that is my old nemesis: dirty water. Instead I used the opportunity to collect some free bomb arrows courtesy of Koblin Hood of the Bottomless Swamp.
⦁ An ice lizalfos approached me ready to attack, but its plan was foiled when it ran over the burning remains of its bokoblin ally. The lizalfos melted immediately.
⦁ While exploring around the outskirts of Death Mountain I saw two small birds that normally don’t appear in this region. As I approached them they flew away in a trail of smoke. I watched then until they exploded leaving nothing more than a roasted tree nut in their wake.
⦁ A moblin threw a bokoblin towards me from afar. Once the bokoblin landed it slide right next to me face down, feet first. Once it stood up the sneak strike prompt popped up so I did just that, ending the poor thing’s suffering.
The next anecdote is about the lynel mentioned in Death in the Wild. In my closing statement I said that the event that lead to my death would be mentioned in the next list, Derth of the Mind. Yeah, my mistake.
⦁ Set up camp to wait for Farosh, a blood moon occurs. I turn around to be greeted by a silver lynel that was apparently burning holes in the back of my head with its vengeful glare. /Pause game to make a note of what just happened. Resume Game./ We stared at one another for a minute then it roared… it has yet to attack… /Paused Game to make note of what just happened./ Just as I resumed the game it pulled out its bow… it is ready for vengeance.
⦁ After killing one of the snow octorocks I slid off the edge of a cliff and tumbled downward in a manner most comical. Why its this under “Cool Thing’s I’ve Done”? I landed right next to a small rock not too far from one of those korok rock formations. Lucky me. I just hope I don’t fall trying to get to it.
⦁ After leaving the Gerudo Highlands, I headed northwest to check-in on the newest resident of Terry Town. Satori Mountain was within route so I decided to pick up some mythical transportation. After immediately failing to mount Satori, I gave it another go and was rewarded with a new steed. We made our way down the mountain and continued our journey to Terry Town. Upon entering Central Hyrule we were greeted by several stalker guardians. With Satori’s great speed and infinite stamina, we dodged all their attacks with ease. Just northwest of the Sacred Ground Ruins there were five guardians (four stalkers, one decayed) aiming at us at once. All of a sudden Satori decided it wanted to take break. I don’t know why it stopped, there was no obstacle to hinder its movement, yet there we stood in the middle of the road with the guaridans fast appoaching. After I frantically yanked its mane for what felt like eternity, Satori realized that this was not the best time to take its PTO. He finally started to move, but it didn’t take off as one would expect. No, it just moved at a very slow pace as if our lives aren’t in danger. Oh wait, Satori is immortal, so its in no rush. I, however, am very much a murderable being. Before I had time to relay this information to my “nobel” steed a guardian shot me right off its back. There I laid on the ground, burning from the searing beam to the chest, as I watched Satori, the “noble creature,” fade away to the safety of its mountain. Some how I managed to stand up and run. I was able to shake off two of the guardians (considering one was immobile not sure if that’s something to brag about), the remaining three I could not, so I stood my ground and prepared to fight. Fortunately, one of the guardians was positioned right behind another, so when in attempted to shoot me it shot the guardian in front of it, making the bout more manageable. Once one fell to friendly fire. I decided to take advantage of the trigger happy guardian by setting its sight on its other ally. It worked! With Julius now on its side I hacked away at its limbs, immobilizing it. Being unable to move I made quick work of it and went head-on with Brutus. With an arrow to the eye and a few swings of a guardian ax the final guardian went down. There I stood victorious, all to no help from the sage Satori.
⦁ Parried the beam of a guardian back to it, blowing off its final leg.
⦁ “Beware, fool, of the eye of the Yiga Clan.” I think that’s what it said. Also, I understand that they want to encourage players to sneak their way through the hideout, but it's most odd that there’s no explanation for why neither Mipha’s Grace or faries activate upon death.
⦁ I failed to parry the laser blast from a decayed guardian setting the ground in front of me on fire and causing an updraft. I stood back on my feet and readied myself for next incoming shot. I once again failed to parry the attack as I swung the shield too late, the shield absorbed the beam as expected, however it did not break. Did the updraft that stood in front of me spared the shield from becoming metal shardes littered on the ground?
And that's all the cool moments that happend to me in Breath of the Wild. Tune in next time for...
Yeah, I know there was still a lot stupidity on my part in this list, I thought they were still, great, cool moments none the less.
I'm also aware that some of them were just situations that I observed, and I had nothing to do with them.
Come on, let me have just this one, please... Thank you.
As I was typing, tune in next time for the fall and rise of my trusty steed, Trusty!
- torgo Yeah!'d this